DumbMajor's Xanga

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 23:38:55 GMT

life doesn't always have a punchline.
no, i'm not returning to xanga. dont' get your hopes up.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/dizzythegreat <--it's re-opened.

don't visit it if your parents will find it in the history and ban you from me. i'm not a bad person, really.

bye.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 14:44:01 GMT

Okay.
This is a livejournal.
It is my new blog.
So click it.
And go there instead of here.
Thank you.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 05:22:49 GMT

Let me just say, you people kick ass.
Those of you who are supportive, thank you.
Thank you for your understanding

Now go read my Live Journal.
Man, are you out of the loop.
Pssh.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 20:50:13 GMT

Live Journal

Monday, June 13, 2005

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 03:30:10 GMT

Yeah, I'm posting a second post only minutes after the first, fuck you.

I'm seriously considering taking a holiday from xanga. I don't know how long it will last, it may be only a few weeks, a few days or a few hours. I seriously need to get some self-esteem. I might move to another blogging site for a while (possibly Live Journal or Blogger), or I may come back to xanga after doing nothing for a while. I may not do anything at all and just feel better when I get home from work and post.

I'm sorry to you all for sucking. I really sorely am sorry for how stupid and shitty my xanga is. I'm sorry for wasting your bandwidth and filling up your internet cache with my crap.

I can't read my old blogs anymore. I can't do it. I can barely read my current blog. I'm such a horrible writer and a social loser. I'm not funny, I'm not enjoyable to read at all, I don't know why I have illusions of gradeur and fame...being high on the xanga featured list like people actually give a fuck what goes on in my life.

I really don't know why people like me. I'm an asshole in real life, or else quiet and completely withdrawn. My hair sucks, I have acne, no money, no social skills, nothing to look forward to anymore. My motivation for marching band is dead. I don't want to deal with another shit year of the Yealys bitching and the angsty shit that always happens and the bull shit of bandcamp and the practicing and the cold and the hot and the being ignored and the shit. Fuck it all.

This xanga has stood, whether it was silently or otherwise, for my love of marching band. It stood for my passion for music and my love of being a leader and my potential to succeed and my desire to motivate and be a part of something great: the band. I was obsessed with band. I was completely into it. Now that I've basically lost that passion, I think it's time to move on to another xanga. I'm moving on to other interests, other hobbies, other things to waste my life on and give up on later. I'm not continuing band after highschool, so why bother? In college I'm going to join or start a garage band and make music my own way with, more or less, complete creative freedom. I don't want a xanga that will reflect something that I no longer feel up to. I want a xanga that stands for my new life. This xanga is stagnant. I feel like nothing is happening. I'm not making a rash descision based on this, I'm going to sleep on it. If I still feel this way, I'll see about either a new xanga or a new blog site altogether.

If I don't change anything, I planned on getting a new one when I go to college anyway, so it doesn't matter.

Right, then.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 03:06:53 GMT

Laura withdraw! Feeling horribly insecure! Feeling like I want to throw everything away and just fuck around for the rest of my life! Feeling like I want to quit xanga! Feeling like I want to make large descisions based on a whim!

I miss Laura...

tunes: Rica Matsumoto - OK!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 01:17:15 GMT

the wilderness beast!
yep.

so today i worked from 11 to 4. learned how to do register. did dishes most of the afternoon. cleaned tables and seats and such. by the way, a BLT costs $5 and I can get it for free when I'm working because it's under my $6 limit. Damn good BLT.

By the way, when you stay up late, make sure you shower. Not showering for 3 days is BAAAAADD.

tunes: John Lennon - Watching the Wheels

Friday, June 10, 2005

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 13:04:26 GMT

Yesterday I went to Tommy's Pizza at 2:45, got my uniforms, learned how to clock in, then started to measure out 3.5 oz of beef, wrap it up, do it again, and again, and again until this whole big plate of beef was all wrapped up in 3.5 oz bits and put in a tupperware container. Then I cleaned and greased pans. Then I stacked them. Then I found out there was nothing to do right before the dinner rush, so I got a Coke to keep myself going. Then phones started to ring and pizzas were cooked and I had to run them to the oven man who then put them in the oven. Then I cleaned, greased, and stacked more pans. Then I learned how to cheese a pizza. As I was cheezing (or cheesing) a pizza I found out it was 9:00 and Weird Brian showed me how to clock out, and I went home.

And thus was my first day as an employee.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 02:11:38 GMT

Alright, look.

It's not ego, I don't care that Courtney is co-DM with me, I would've loved it if we were both full-time like it's always been with me and Katherine. I could teach Courtney the ropes and we could kick ass. Having two part-time drum majors is just pointless. It shows weakness of the band in my eyes, that the band is that desperate for instrumentalists that they can't sacrifice one or two for drum major.

The reason we're part time is because they needed Courtney on picc because she's a great player. Why didn't they just let her play and make me the full time DM then?

BECAUSE THEY DON'T TRUST ME.

They don't think I can be responsible enough to handle things on my own and they send in Courtney, the responsible one, to keep her eye on me and keep me in line because she's a good leader. I'm just the mindless, conducting metronome. I don't lead at all. Oh, no.

That's pretty much what it boils down to.

Understand, I don't have a problem with Courtney at all, I think she's a good kid and a good leader--I'm not blaming her for anything. My problem is with the Yealys for not having a shred of trust for me.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:49:05 GMT

2 part-time drum majors.
Me, Courtney.
We march a few songs, we conduct a few songs.
What. The. FUCK.

I knew Mrs. Yealy wouldn't let Courtney not get the position. Courtney was like "You'll get it." I don't think she realizes that Mrs. Yealy adores her. She's the only person Mrs. Yealy doesn't bitch at. She's the only student Mrs. Yealy jokes with. Ever.

Part time DMs also mean that we won't have anything to establish us as drum majors from the rest of the band. We'll be wearing the same uniform everyone else does. Also, students will respect us less and we won't get as much credit for being leaders because we're only a leader SOMETIMES even though we do more work than the band.

This is really going to suck majorly.
I haven't marched in three years.
God damn it.